samus79
Veteran Member
An interesting character gives a run down of a hit and run drunk drivers rampage (no injuries or gore) runtime about 2:00 min
View: https://youtu.be/1RgwbFJclBA
PLAY Aftermath of a drunk driver, Funny. (Foul Language)
- Thread starter samus79
- Start date
Walrus Whisperer
Hope in chains...
You should warn there's a LOT of MF ing going, but it was funny.
samus79
Veteran Member
Yeah I put the foul language warning in the thread title
FaithfulSkeptic
Carrying the mantle of doubt
That MF uses MF a lot of MF'ing times. Dayum.
samus79
Veteran Member
FaithfulSkeptic
Carrying the mantle of doubt
That's exactly what I thought when watching it. Just a common pronoun for them.I believe it’s a standard pronoun in Jive/Ebonics similar to he, she or them.
Optimus Prime
Senior Member
Samuel L Jackson, Your MC for the video
Doc1
Has No Life - Lives on TB
I'm not a supporter of drunk driving and haven't done it in decades, but back in my partying days... So, here's my favorite DUI story:
Back in the '80s - in South Africa - a friend invited me to go on a weekend-long braii (bar-b-que) party at his girlfriend's brother's farm. The brother had a really nice spread, but it was way the 'ell and gone outside of Johannesburg and down a series of gravel/dirt roads. I had to follow him carefully (in daylight) to get there and the rooster tail of dust his car kicked up made it impossible to follow closely.
We arrived at the farm and everyone was having a great time, eating various roasted meats and getting completely plastered. There was and (probably still is) a strong drinking culture in South Africa. The sun went down and we all continued to drink. My girlfriend, my buddy's girlfriend, the girlfriend's brother, myself, my buddy and other assorted guests got completely "bobalos" which means plastered in the local lingua. I was more than ready for bed.
Suddenly there was a great commotion and my friend and his girlfriend's brother were fighting! I mean a real knock down, drag out sort of fight! I have - and had - no idea what the 'ell caused it and I wasn't remotely involved. Then suddenly, my buddy, bloody and looking much the worse for wear, came up to me and announced, "We're leaving. Let's go!" I was not remotely in any condition to drive, but here I was at a remote farm, surrounded by people I didn't remotely know. Lot's of remote going on!
So we all piled into our vehicles and headed out of the farm towards Jo'burg. I had many problems. I had no idea where we were. The dust clouds I mentioned earlier made it almost impossible to follow my buddy's car at night and of course, I was reeeeeally hammered. Intermittently, I could barely make out one of his tail lights, but never both at the same time. Also, I was so drunk that I almost had to close one eye not to see double!
Up in the distance, I saw my friend's brake lights come on and stay on for a protracted period. What the 'ell? Then his car moved on. Shortly, I saw the reason for his stop. There was a South African Police roadblock straddling the dirt road!!! As I pulled up to stop. I'm thinking there's no way in hell I can remotely (there's that "remote" again) pass as sober. So, there I was, stopped and surrounded by hard men holding automatic weapons! The SAP frequently staged these roadblocks looking for terrorists transporting weapons on the back roads. Now I certainly wasn't a terrorist, but you could get arrested for DUI!
The first cop asked me where I was headed. I looked at him bleary-eyed and responded, "I'm trying to get back to Johannesburg, but I am so blitzed that if I lose those tail lights up ahead I'm never getting out of Africa!"
The cops all laughed uproariously and just waved me on!!!
That would never happen in the US. I experienced many things in southern Africa that would not/could not happen here. As an example, one time I was hitch hiking and a long-assed freight train stopped in the middle of nowhere to pick me up, but that's another story.
Best
Doc
Back in the '80s - in South Africa - a friend invited me to go on a weekend-long braii (bar-b-que) party at his girlfriend's brother's farm. The brother had a really nice spread, but it was way the 'ell and gone outside of Johannesburg and down a series of gravel/dirt roads. I had to follow him carefully (in daylight) to get there and the rooster tail of dust his car kicked up made it impossible to follow closely.
We arrived at the farm and everyone was having a great time, eating various roasted meats and getting completely plastered. There was and (probably still is) a strong drinking culture in South Africa. The sun went down and we all continued to drink. My girlfriend, my buddy's girlfriend, the girlfriend's brother, myself, my buddy and other assorted guests got completely "bobalos" which means plastered in the local lingua. I was more than ready for bed.
Suddenly there was a great commotion and my friend and his girlfriend's brother were fighting! I mean a real knock down, drag out sort of fight! I have - and had - no idea what the 'ell caused it and I wasn't remotely involved. Then suddenly, my buddy, bloody and looking much the worse for wear, came up to me and announced, "We're leaving. Let's go!" I was not remotely in any condition to drive, but here I was at a remote farm, surrounded by people I didn't remotely know. Lot's of remote going on!
So we all piled into our vehicles and headed out of the farm towards Jo'burg. I had many problems. I had no idea where we were. The dust clouds I mentioned earlier made it almost impossible to follow my buddy's car at night and of course, I was reeeeeally hammered. Intermittently, I could barely make out one of his tail lights, but never both at the same time. Also, I was so drunk that I almost had to close one eye not to see double!
Up in the distance, I saw my friend's brake lights come on and stay on for a protracted period. What the 'ell? Then his car moved on. Shortly, I saw the reason for his stop. There was a South African Police roadblock straddling the dirt road!!! As I pulled up to stop. I'm thinking there's no way in hell I can remotely (there's that "remote" again) pass as sober. So, there I was, stopped and surrounded by hard men holding automatic weapons! The SAP frequently staged these roadblocks looking for terrorists transporting weapons on the back roads. Now I certainly wasn't a terrorist, but you could get arrested for DUI!
The first cop asked me where I was headed. I looked at him bleary-eyed and responded, "I'm trying to get back to Johannesburg, but I am so blitzed that if I lose those tail lights up ahead I'm never getting out of Africa!"
The cops all laughed uproariously and just waved me on!!!
That would never happen in the US. I experienced many things in southern Africa that would not/could not happen here. As an example, one time I was hitch hiking and a long-assed freight train stopped in the middle of nowhere to pick me up, but that's another story.
Best
Doc
its still not as good as “Bambulance.”
greenhart
Veteran Member
I've done a lot of hitch hiking in my day but never on a railroad.
samus79
Veteran Member
Or “Amberlance”
Used Camels
Inactive
So I wasn't going to reply, Doc, then I decided to come back and point out that stuff like that did indeed used to happen all the time in the good old USA with some cops.
Once upon a time, long, long ago, yours truly went on a 10-year-long bender. For real. (I've been bone dry sober now for 35 years!)
I actually held some good jobs during that period though the times I was not under the influence were rare.
Anyway, the point I want to make is that I drove drunk all the time--sometimes very drunk. My period of gross inebriation started in Wisconsin in the mid '70s and went on thru various other locations to include Texas and Minnesota. I could tell a whole lot of stories about cops looking the other way after being stopped, sometimes caught red-handed with open bottle, dope, and really fried.
My best tale is when a buddy and I were pulled over in Texas after leaving a bar. Only it was not your normal traffic stop. A whole line of pickup trucks were behind the sheriff's car. I discovered that upon being ordered to get out of the car by a guy with a shotgun and wearing a cowboy hat. In fact, there were a bunch of cowboys with guns aimed in our general direction. They held us there up against the car after being frisked and finding some weed in the glove box. We learned they were actually looking for some guys who had just killed someone and who made their escape in a car matching the description of the one we were in. 20 minutes later, the call came that they found the real killers and the posse let us go and let us keep our open bottles and pot and we went on our merry way, still buzzing from earlier in the evening.
That was not a one-off. I remember another time in Wisconsin about 3 in the morning in my car on a deserted small town street ... six guys packed in the car filled with smoke. The local cop comes up, I have to roll my window down, and he had to have gotten a buzz just from standing there. He just told us to get out of town.
I am ashamed to have to say that I drove drunk all those years, but if you can believe it, I never got in an accident and I never got a DWI/DUI, though there were plenty of times I was stopped and perfectly blitzed.
Bottom line ... drinking and driving was held in a different regard in the culture years ago.
Once upon a time, long, long ago, yours truly went on a 10-year-long bender. For real. (I've been bone dry sober now for 35 years!)
I actually held some good jobs during that period though the times I was not under the influence were rare.
Anyway, the point I want to make is that I drove drunk all the time--sometimes very drunk. My period of gross inebriation started in Wisconsin in the mid '70s and went on thru various other locations to include Texas and Minnesota. I could tell a whole lot of stories about cops looking the other way after being stopped, sometimes caught red-handed with open bottle, dope, and really fried.
My best tale is when a buddy and I were pulled over in Texas after leaving a bar. Only it was not your normal traffic stop. A whole line of pickup trucks were behind the sheriff's car. I discovered that upon being ordered to get out of the car by a guy with a shotgun and wearing a cowboy hat. In fact, there were a bunch of cowboys with guns aimed in our general direction. They held us there up against the car after being frisked and finding some weed in the glove box. We learned they were actually looking for some guys who had just killed someone and who made their escape in a car matching the description of the one we were in. 20 minutes later, the call came that they found the real killers and the posse let us go and let us keep our open bottles and pot and we went on our merry way, still buzzing from earlier in the evening.
That was not a one-off. I remember another time in Wisconsin about 3 in the morning in my car on a deserted small town street ... six guys packed in the car filled with smoke. The local cop comes up, I have to roll my window down, and he had to have gotten a buzz just from standing there. He just told us to get out of town.
I am ashamed to have to say that I drove drunk all those years, but if you can believe it, I never got in an accident and I never got a DWI/DUI, though there were plenty of times I was stopped and perfectly blitzed.
Bottom line ... drinking and driving was held in a different regard in the culture years ago.
Fake Shemp
Banned for resurrecting the mayonnaise thread
Amazing, they all had one thing in common they were all mother****ers. What are the chances of that? 
MinnesotaSmith
Membership Revoked
That depends on whether you're speaking Ebonics or American.
Voortrekker
Veteran Member
I'm not sure why all ya'll m*th*r f*ck*rs are concerned about his descriptions of m*th*r f*ck*rs, but that was some m*th*r f*ck*n' damage of personal property by some m*th*r f*ck*r.