CanadaSues Day Off!

[lisa]

Canada Sue was fed up! She decided it was time to take a break from her computer and step into the real world for a while. As she stretched and straightened all the kinks out of her back she heard a sound on her front porch- what could it be?! Gathering her nerve she rose from her chair- and headed outside. A warm breeze greeted her as she opened the door - her eyes blinked in the bright sunshine-ThumP!- there was that noise again! Getting into her self-defense Karate stance Canada Sue gets ready for the worst- she's hears someone coming around the corner! She prepares to spring into action - but stops her self just in the nick of time- she couldn't believe her eyes! It was Maiden coming for a visit and she had all her critters with her too and a large picnic basket!
"What are you doing here?!" she asks incredulously.
However before Maiden can answer...

 

[Satanta]

Skunks! Lots and lots of SKUNKS-roilling out of every tree and bush! A whole landscape carpeted with black and white striped stinkers!

 

[monkeyface]

Maiden gasps and told Canada Sue that she had just the antidote for the smell that the skunks had put out! Luckily, she had brought over to her house in the picnic basket some tomato juice she had just finished bottling the day before. They went out to the shed and found an old bathtub and began filling it up with the juice. Meanwhile, Canada Sue's teenager daughter began digging a large hole.

 

[Maiden]

Even though CanadaSue's daughter was giggling, CanadaSue and I managed to get all the skunk odor out of her clothes, hair and body.

"Whewww! That's much better!" smiled CanadaSue.

"Yes, it sure is," said Maiden, "and I'm so sorry for all the skunks! I have no idea how they got into my basket!"

"Maiden, don't worry about it. This happens to me all the time," said CanadaSue still smiling.

"Hey! Let's go for a walk in the woods," said Maiden.

Off went Maiden and CanadaSue for a sight seeing walk in CanadaSue's woods. Maiden wanted to see the river or creek with the fish jumping, too.

Just as CanadaSue and Maiden reached the creek, a large carp jumped right out of the water and into ................

 

[Maiden]

... and into the big hole that CanadaSue's daughter had dug!

Maiden screamed! "Save the fish! Save the fish!"

CanadaSue stooped down into the hole, grabbed the carp and quickly threw it back into the water.

All watched as the fish safely swam away.

"Where to next?" asked Maiden.

 

[monkeyface]

the hole that Canada Sue's daughter had dug. Jumping up and down and whopping with delight, the three women discusssed what to do with the carp.

 

[Maiden]

oopsss ... monkeyface and I posted at the same time. Let's carry on with what monkeyface posted. That one is better.

 

[Maiden]

(okay, now ... )

Suddenly Maiden came to her senses!

Maiden screamed! "Save the fish! Save the fish!"

CanadaSue stooped down into the hole, grabbed the carp and quickly threw it back into the water.

All watched as the fish safely swam away.

"Where to next?" asked Maiden.

CanadaSue had a sly look on her face as she said ....

 

[Walrus Whisperer]

"Lets go for a walk!"
Well, with all the water from the carp, it was slippery. CanadaSue's daughter went down. Hard. Right into the hole. CanadaSue reached down to help pull her upright and the daughter pulled CanadaSue down into the hole with her. The resulting mud wrestling was not a pretty sight. CanadaSue won.

 

[Maiden]

.... And Maiden just watched on laughing her butt off.

 

[BH]

CS got tired of playing in her daughters hole, so she walked on down the trail. Looking down, she saw another little girl that was diggin another hole....

 

[BH]

SO, CS decided to watch for awhile and sat down in the dirt beside her new little friend, but the new friend said, "Back Off a little, you are just a little too close"....

 

[BH]

CS backed off a little and watched the little girl drag rock after rock away from her new hole, this went on for quite awhile....

 

[BH]

Finally, the new little friend had all the rocks she wanted, just where she wanted, so she took a break, sat awhile, then flew off....

 

[BH]

After meeting the little girl digger wasp, CS walked a little further and came across a little baby bunny that had just escaped from a big old hawk. Being a nurse and a prepper, CS just happened to have everything necessary to give a some comfort and nourishment to the little critter....

 

[Maiden]

Maiden watched in amazement as CS bottle fed the tiny baby bunny. "Awwwwwww!" she said.

 

[lisa]

After saving ALL the critters in the woods-(because That's what they do!) they decide to head to town. They get in Canada Sues vehicle - and head to town. Suddenly the emergency broadcast system comes n the radio- there has been a coup in Canada! French speaking Quebec has taken over! Only persons who speak French are welcome the rest are being rounded up! Time to Bug out! They turn around and head back to Canada Sues place- just in time to find Helen! She had decided to stop in for pie - deciding that keeping Helen from panicking is very important they have to figure out how to get to the shelter without letting Helen hear the news!

 

[lisa]

Too Late- Helen has just heard the news on her own radio- she doesn't even take time to say goodbye- she jumps in her car and races for home- hope she makes it!

 

[Maiden]

Once Helen reaches home, she immediately engages in Panic Sex as that is the thing to do in such an event. She felt much better afterwards as was only natural.

Helen then went out and cared for Mike the Mule. Mike was so happy to see Helen again and that she wasn't captured during the coup in Canada that rounded up all the people who don't speak French.

Maiden knew a little French from having taken 4 years of it in high school and college and was spared.

CanadaSue speaks fluent French so wasn't taken by the round up and was safe as well as her family.

Maiden decided it was time to bug out of Canada during the coup before they realized she didn't speak fluent French and to go back home so bid everyone good bye.

Putting all her critters back in her basket minus the skunks, she went on her way traveling back to Florida to get out of harm's way.

What a great visit Maiden and Helen had with CanadaSue and promised to come back once the coup had ended.

Then CanadaSue came up with a great idea and that was ....

 

[Maiden]

... and that was to invite lisa over for a visit. Lisa was a little reluctant with the coup and all but CanadaSue assured her that the coup had ended and all that couldn't speak French had been released.

Lisa hopped the next flight to Canada and CanadaSue met Lisa at the airport.

Okay, so that isn't a picture of the airport at Canada but it's the best I could come up with so use your imagination.

CanadaSue saw Lisa as she came off the plane and CanadaSue was holding a sign that said "Lisa" since they had not met before.

Lisa and CanadaSue hugged and went to get Lisa's luggage then off to CanadaSue's house they went.

Once they got there, they decided to make a nice cold lunch of carp sandwiches and brie cheese. Yum!

Lisa was very tired after the flight so CanadaSue suggested she take a nap after lunch. During Lisa's nap, CanadaSue's kitties all decided they love Lisa and wanted to sleep with her. Luckily Lisa is not allergic to kitties.

One of CanadaSue's kitties made a hammock and napped there.

"Awwwwwww, how cute!" said Lisa and CanadaSue both.

They decided after CanadaSue's nap to play with the kitties for a while.

 

[Maiden]

Lisa and CanadaSue were so inspired by all the kitties that they decided to make a rug of the kitties playing.

"My, what a beautiful rug," CanadaSue exclaimed and Lisa agreed. Both were very happy with the rug they had made together. The kitties liked the rug, too and took another nap on it as soon as CanadaSue put it on the floor.

Now, Lisa and CanadaSue decided to do some shopping.

There were so many stores to choose from but both wanted to buy some shoes.

"Well, these will make us look a lot taller," the both laughed.

"Where to next?" asked Lisa. ............

 

[lisa]

As she's playing with the kitys a rouge band of the French police rush into the room- Lisa must think fast! Using her old high school french she proclaims!

je Suis Lise. Como tallez vous? Vous et etourdi! C'est une chat.
Aurevoir!

Lisa quietly thanks Canada Sue for the lovely visit and heads for the airport- back to Panama where everyone insists she speak Spanish!

Canada Sue collapses to her chair and goes back to her computer- the real world has TOO many visitors!

 

[lisa]

oops... I'll have to fix the lapse between shopping and the french police whenI get home from church!

 

[Maiden]

Filling in the gap

After a fine day of shopping, CanadaSue and Lisa went back to CanadaSue's home again.

As she's playing with the kitys a rouge band of the French police rush into the room- Lisa must think fast! Using her old high school french she proclaims!

je Suis Lise. Como tallez vous? Vous et etourdi! C'est une chat.
Aurevoir!

Suddenly, an officer came in and shouted something in French to the French police. CanadaSue translated it saying that the officer was letting the other police know that the coup had ended and there was no further need for interrogation.

Lisa quietly thanks Canada Sue for the lovely visit and heads for the airport- back to Panama where everyone insists she speak Spanish!

Canada Sue collapses to her chair and goes back to her computer- the real world has TOO many visitors!

 

[Maiden]

CanadaSue signed onto her computer and decided to send and Instant Message to a friend.

CS: Brooks, how are you?

Brooks: I'm doing well but I heard there was a coup there where you are and people who can't speak French are being rounded up and taken in! Eeekkk!

CS: Yes, that did happen but the coup is over now and all the people that were rounded up have been released.

Brooks: Whewww! Wiping sweat from my brow. That was really something, Canada Sue. I'm so glad that's over!

CS: Yeah, me too. Helen, Lisa and Maiden were visiting and had to high tail it out of here and get back home again. They are fine though.

Brooks: I can understand Helen and Lisa coming for a visit but why did you let that Maiden person anywhere near your house?! Didn't you know she attracts skunks?! You have a terrible problem with skunks giving you the spray. You should have turned Maiden away!

CS: Yeah, Maiden didn't know that a bunch of skunks had jumped into her basket filled with her other critters and I was sprayed big time but she also had freshly made tomato juice on her and we got the stink out of me right away.

Brooks: CanadaSue, I would have rung Maiden's neck! She HAD to know those skunks were in that basket! She is a sneaky one!

CS: Brooks, you really think so?

Brooks: I sure do! I know all her tricks. Man, you've been had big time!

CS: Well, that hussy Maiden! I am going to get back at her for this. What do you suggest I do?

Brooks: I suggest you take a whole bunch of kitty poop and mail it to her to be placed at her front door and have someone light the bag on fire as they ring the door bell. Then Maiden will run out and stomp on the bag to put the fire out and get covered in kitty poop. That will teach her a lesson!

CS: Hey! That sounds like a great idea! I will go package up a bunch of kitty poop right now and do just that!

Brooks: Great! Let me know how it all turns out.

CS: Sure thing, Brooks and thanks for the heads up.

Brooks: You bet, CanadaSue. That is what good friends are for.

CS: Okay, I'll be IMing you soon again to talk some more. Okay?

Brooks: Any time, CanadaSue. Just Instant Message me and we can chat as much as you want.

CS: Thanks, Brooks. Later. Bye.

Brooks: Bye for now, my friend.

 

[lisa]

Canada Sue goes to find some kitty doo- but discovers that her sweet daughter hads already cleaned the kitty boxes- wondering what to do she sees a cow in the field.....


Later at Maidens house the door bell rings and her smoke alarm goes off.....

 

[monkeyface]

she faints from the horrific smell of cow dung that had been dragged through her yard to fertilize it for the winter!It was still hot from the cows, which is why the smoke alarms had been going off. Canada Sue was hiding behind the trees, laughing and plugging up her nose with a clothespin! Racing up the street was the fire department to see why the smoke alarm was going off as the neighbors had called in the fire alert!

 

[lisa]

Maiden is thrilled to see that Canada Sue has delivered the fertilizer she had promised to bring her! she quickly takes a shovel and spreads it on her garden and around her bushes- now everything will grow nice and green! Thanks Canada Sue she hollers!

No problem Canada Sue yells back- (not wanting to get too close to the smell)- that's what friends are for!

Maiden serves iced tea to all the firemen and introduces them to her critters- though they think her garden stinks - they decide Maiden is a real nice gal!


Canada Sue returns home- showers- and decides to call it a night- what a day- good thing she took a break!