Farting in Burger king

[changed]

I don't always fart in Burger King, but when I do its a whopper. (hold the mustard)

 

[changed]

If a woman with large breasts works at Hooters, where does a one legged woman work? Answer: IHOP
What is her name? Answer: Eileen
Also, be careful when you tip her.

 

[Raggedyman]

OH LAW! da comedy sho dun started Ethel!!!

 

[Groucho]

Tip the waitress? Ha! I know a guy who's so cheap, he won't tip his hat.
How cheap is he?
He's so cheap he rides a crowded subway just to get his clothes pressed!
He's so cheap the guest room in his house has a pay smoke alarm!
I'm tellin' ya, he's so cheap he married a skinny girl just so he could buy a smaller ring.

 

[Groucho]

A Minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

 

[Groucho]

And a gem or two from my namesake:

"We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week." Groucho Marx

"If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor."

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.' "

" Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here! "

 

[ydderf]

Last week they held the annual silk worm race in China,sigh, they ended in a tie!