Life's Observations. . . . .
Moles are always smaller than you imagine.
At the end of every party there is always a fat girl crying.
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub
is when your pint to toilet cycle gets synchronised with
a complete stranger.
Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
You're never quite sure whether its against the law or
not to have a fire in your back garden.
You never know where to look when eating an apple.
Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
Every bloke has at some stage while taking a p*ss HAS flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
No one knows the origins of their individual metal coat hangers.
A most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
People who don't drive, slam car doors too hard
You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint with.
Everyone had a relative who tried to steal their nose.
Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.
Beneath every floating balloon is a tearful child.
Moles are always smaller than you imagine.
At the end of every party there is always a fat girl crying.
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub
is when your pint to toilet cycle gets synchronised with
a complete stranger.
Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
You're never quite sure whether its against the law or
not to have a fire in your back garden.
You never know where to look when eating an apple.
Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
Every bloke has at some stage while taking a p*ss HAS flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
No one knows the origins of their individual metal coat hangers.
A most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
People who don't drive, slam car doors too hard
You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint with.
Everyone had a relative who tried to steal their nose.
Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.
Beneath every floating balloon is a tearful child.