Raggedyman
Res ipsa loquitur
you people are killin' me here tonight!!!! gotta say that I've been a bit worse than usual as of late . . . Raggedyann'a even gotten on to me about it . . . guess its the times we're living in
WoT My precious DH has said God is sparing him to clean up my language
- Thread starter nomifyle
- Start date
you people are killin' me here tonight!!!! gotta say that I've been a bit worse than usual as of late . . . Raggedyann'a even gotten on to me about it . . . guess its the times we're living in
Silly boy. You should've just bought a Sybian....
or gone to chicongo and bought a simian.
Krayola
Veteran Member
This thread reminds me of a joke.........
A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. ''How much do you want for the mower?'' asked the preacher. ''I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle'', said the little boy.
After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, ''Will you take my bike in trade for it?'' The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and after riding the bike around a little while said, ''Mister, you've got yourself a deal.''
The preacher took the mower and began to try to crank it. He pulled on the string a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, ''I can't get this mower to start.''
The little boy said, ''That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started.''
The preacher said, ''I am a minister, and I cannot cuss. It has been so long since I have been saved that I do not even remember how to cuss.''
The little boy looked at him happily and said, ''Just keep pulling on that string. It'll come back to ya!''
A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. ''How much do you want for the mower?'' asked the preacher. ''I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle'', said the little boy.
After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, ''Will you take my bike in trade for it?'' The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and after riding the bike around a little while said, ''Mister, you've got yourself a deal.''
The preacher took the mower and began to try to crank it. He pulled on the string a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, ''I can't get this mower to start.''
The little boy said, ''That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started.''
The preacher said, ''I am a minister, and I cannot cuss. It has been so long since I have been saved that I do not even remember how to cuss.''
The little boy looked at him happily and said, ''Just keep pulling on that string. It'll come back to ya!''
jward
passin' thru
Please give yer fella a big hug from all of us here- We sure needed that giggle 
I of course speak the queen's perfect English, although rumour has it there is lil to no difference between a **** you and telling someone they're the syphilitic drippings out of their father's mistresses' dogs' pustulent penis, and thus should have extensive intimate self knowledge as tis the only kind they're find unless they stumble upon fresh roadkill...
but I at least make it past most censoring devices
You only rent those.
nomifyle
TB Fanatic
Blacknarwhal
Let's Go Brandon!
I don't see it, myself. Profanities are the spice of language.
Just as you ruin a sauce by adding a ladle-full of cayenne pepper, so too do you ruin a sentence by using f**k like a comma.
But when you go from "this project was a total mess" to "this project was a complete f**king dumpster fire", you make the concept THAT MUCH CLEARER.
Just as you ruin a sauce by adding a ladle-full of cayenne pepper, so too do you ruin a sentence by using f**k like a comma.
But when you go from "this project was a total mess" to "this project was a complete f**king dumpster fire", you make the concept THAT MUCH CLEARER.
Chiwahwah?
jazzy
Advocate Discernment
well, i share the stuggle. it seems the older i get the less patience i have. the less patience i have the more sarcastic i get and that usually leads to even Less patience and a slew or four letter words that necessitates humble apologies to God.
maybe i should just make a blanket apology for any and all i may offend here with my bright sarcastic wit that may or may not be inadvertently construed as insults to a persons supposed cognitive abilities.
maybe i should just make a blanket apology for any and all i may offend here with my bright sarcastic wit that may or may not be inadvertently construed as insults to a persons supposed cognitive abilities.
Last edited:
Actually, what you just said matches my feelings over the years exactly. It’s why I’ve become more and more curmudgeonly over time.
jazzy
Advocate Discernment
is there an official TB curmudgeon club, if so is there a test and what are the yearly fees?
asking for a friend
That was my first thought! He's gonna be immortal!!
I've often thought it's not specific words that offend the Lord (probably studied too much etiology and the origin of language and words), but the emotion behind their use that He may frown upon. I find myself nudged to work on the impatience and intemperate anger that triggers the stream of bad words.
I have been working to improve just the casual and habitual cursing, though... it's not easy!
Summerthyme
patriotgal
Veteran Member
My apostolic preacher grandpa used to say there was nothing wrong with cussing if something needed cussing.
I don't think it's the "when someone (or something) needs cussing" that's the problem. For me, it's when it became habitual, (hanging around horse people as a teen! LOL!) and casual. I absolutely agree that it makes people sound vulgar and dumb... for an excellent extreme example, see the video of the black teen screaming at the white school kids in Washington DC recently...
Summerthyme
Far end of the spectrum....a platoon of line soldiers doing some $#it detail, in the middle of summer, in midday sun.
You could write a complete reference text, just from the oaths, curses and obscenities they utter.
You could write a complete reference text, just from the oaths, curses and obscenities they utter.
Marthanoir
TB Fanatic
Far end of the spectrum....a platoon of line soldiers doing some $#it detail, in the middle of summer, in midday sun.
You could write a complete reference text, just from the oaths, curses and obscenities they utter.
There's sweet little old ladies around here that could make those squaddies blush.
I very rarely swear here on the board as ye have a different culture to us, whats acceptable here isn't in the US, everybody swears here in everyday conversation, you'll hear it on tv and radio, its just the way we are
When my girls were growing up my youngest would always "help" me work on the car. Years later when she was grown up, she told me she "helped"me because I always cussed while working on the car. She said daddy you never cussed around us kids at all, but you sure let loose when the wrench slipped. I really tried to not cuss in front of them, but my oldest thought a rectum was a Chevy car model till after she married. I used that word instead of A hole while driving.
China Connection
TB Fanatic
How to swear like an Australian
By Courtney Subramanian
Published on 11/5/2014 at 9:00 PM
UNIVERSO ONLINE
Australia may be an English-speaking country, but there are plenty of differences when it comes to local parlance. Aside from laying claim to inventing the word “selfie”, Australians’ love of slang may be unrivaled anywhere else in the world.
For example, the C-word (it's not cookie) may be just as common as “mate” in Oz, and can range in connotations from insulting someone (“you useless c***”), to calling a friend cool (“he’s a sick c***”).
But for non-Aussies, it’s easy to get tangled up when it comes to the loose use of swear word lingo Down Under. To help you better understand (or impress) your token Aussie friend who slips back into native slang, here’s a brief list of swear words I’ve encountered, broken down by category:
Exclamatory phrases
Bugger off/me
“Bugger” is common in both Aussie and British slang, and vaguely refers to someone or something that is annoying. Calling someone a bugger can be used affectionately or derogatorily. The general expletive can be used in any situation, and roughly means,“F*** off/me” or “Well, I’ll be damned!”
F*** me dead
Basically, this means, “Didn’t see that one coming!” or “Oh my!” As you may have realized, profanity is pretty universal in Oz, which is why this phrase is a common way of conveying surprise.
GFY
An Australian version of "Go f*** yourself", in acronym form. A universal phrase, indeed.
Fair suck of the sav
The word "sav" is short for saveloy, or a red, seasoned sausage -- this is what's called a metaphor in literary circles. Aussies typically use this phrase when they think someone is being unfair, roughly meaning "Give me a fair shot”. Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd famously gained attention for muddling the phrase as “fair shake of the sauce bottle, mate.” We understand what you were getting at, Kev. Idioms are hard.
FLICKR/STATEFARM
Get stuffed
Like a firmer version of "Get lost", the phrase is an easy substitute for telling someone to “piss off”, or to shove it in a certain place.
Bloody Oath
Code for “F*** yeah!” or “Isn’t that the truth?", this phrase is often used to affirm something (often an understatement) or show intense support for something.
Strewth
The term is used to convey surprise, and is said to be a contraction of “God’s truth". It roughly translates to "Holy sh**!” You might use it to express your inebriated state last night at the bar or how exhausted you are after a long day at work.
WIKIMEDIA COMMONS USER KJRICKENBA
Phrases meaning "idiot"
DADS
Here's another fun acronym. “DADS” is an abbreviated way of saying someone is as "dumb as dog [slang term for excrement]". If someone says, “you have DADS disease”, it’s likely because your joke didn’t land and you clearly just don't get it.
D***head
This term is fairly common around the world, but is probably used more regularly when calling someone an idiot in Australia. Use it, my friend. It’s liberating.
F***wit / F***stick
This expletive has the same connotation as its American counterpart, but maybe emphasizes that you’re extra annoying. The F-word functions as a universal prefix to say, "You are REALLY dumb".
FLICKR/THEENMOY
Wombat
A reference to the native, short-legged marsupial, wombat often refers to an overweight, lazy, or slow idiot. He’s probably your roommate, and eating Doritos on the couch right now.
Wanker
Like “bugger”, wanker is a pretty commonly heard British and Aussie derogatory name for someone who masturbates. But also like bugger, it can be used universally as a lighthearted dig at a friend, or to scream while you’re flipping off that idiot who cut you off.
Other derogatory terms
Derro
Like so much of Aussie lingo, derro is an abbreviation, this time for the word "derelict". Very highbrow, in terms of insults. Though it’s traditionally used to refer to bums or hobos, derro is also used to refer to someone who just can’t get their s*** together. And you know so many of those “types".
SHUTTERSTOCK
Fanny
Leave your fanny pack at home when you visit Australia, or at least don’t refer to it as one without expecting giggles. The waist purse is called a bum bag in Oz, and that’s because fanny is another word for a woman’s reproductive organs.
Drongo
This old-fashioned term may be less prevalent, but commonly refers to a dumb person, fool, or loser. The term was first coined for the 1920s Australian racehorse Drongo, who never won a race in his two-and-a-half year career. Poor guy.
Bogan
You’re most likely to hear this pretty regularly in Oz or New Zealand, and the term is used liberally to refer to someone who is unsophisticated, unintelligent, or a bit “rough around the edges" -- the Down Under equivalent of a redneck.
SHUTTERSTOCK
Root
The crass word is code for sex, which is why Aussies deride Americans for “rooting” for their favorite team. “Cop a root” is a common phrase for having sex. Based on that, “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” ends up sounding a lot like a track off a 2 Live Crew album.
Slag/slagger
A promiscuous man or woman. Hey, both men and women can be easy.
Wristy
The act of giving manual sex. Because your wrist is attached to your hand. You get the idea.
By Courtney Subramanian
Published on 11/5/2014 at 9:00 PM
UNIVERSO ONLINE
Australia may be an English-speaking country, but there are plenty of differences when it comes to local parlance. Aside from laying claim to inventing the word “selfie”, Australians’ love of slang may be unrivaled anywhere else in the world.
For example, the C-word (it's not cookie) may be just as common as “mate” in Oz, and can range in connotations from insulting someone (“you useless c***”), to calling a friend cool (“he’s a sick c***”).
But for non-Aussies, it’s easy to get tangled up when it comes to the loose use of swear word lingo Down Under. To help you better understand (or impress) your token Aussie friend who slips back into native slang, here’s a brief list of swear words I’ve encountered, broken down by category:
Exclamatory phrases
Bugger off/me
“Bugger” is common in both Aussie and British slang, and vaguely refers to someone or something that is annoying. Calling someone a bugger can be used affectionately or derogatorily. The general expletive can be used in any situation, and roughly means,“F*** off/me” or “Well, I’ll be damned!”
F*** me dead
Basically, this means, “Didn’t see that one coming!” or “Oh my!” As you may have realized, profanity is pretty universal in Oz, which is why this phrase is a common way of conveying surprise.
GFY
An Australian version of "Go f*** yourself", in acronym form. A universal phrase, indeed.
Fair suck of the sav
The word "sav" is short for saveloy, or a red, seasoned sausage -- this is what's called a metaphor in literary circles. Aussies typically use this phrase when they think someone is being unfair, roughly meaning "Give me a fair shot”. Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd famously gained attention for muddling the phrase as “fair shake of the sauce bottle, mate.” We understand what you were getting at, Kev. Idioms are hard.
Get stuffed
Like a firmer version of "Get lost", the phrase is an easy substitute for telling someone to “piss off”, or to shove it in a certain place.
Bloody Oath
Code for “F*** yeah!” or “Isn’t that the truth?", this phrase is often used to affirm something (often an understatement) or show intense support for something.
Strewth
The term is used to convey surprise, and is said to be a contraction of “God’s truth". It roughly translates to "Holy sh**!” You might use it to express your inebriated state last night at the bar or how exhausted you are after a long day at work.
Phrases meaning "idiot"
DADS
Here's another fun acronym. “DADS” is an abbreviated way of saying someone is as "dumb as dog [slang term for excrement]". If someone says, “you have DADS disease”, it’s likely because your joke didn’t land and you clearly just don't get it.
D***head
This term is fairly common around the world, but is probably used more regularly when calling someone an idiot in Australia. Use it, my friend. It’s liberating.
F***wit / F***stick
This expletive has the same connotation as its American counterpart, but maybe emphasizes that you’re extra annoying. The F-word functions as a universal prefix to say, "You are REALLY dumb".
Wombat
A reference to the native, short-legged marsupial, wombat often refers to an overweight, lazy, or slow idiot. He’s probably your roommate, and eating Doritos on the couch right now.
Wanker
Like “bugger”, wanker is a pretty commonly heard British and Aussie derogatory name for someone who masturbates. But also like bugger, it can be used universally as a lighthearted dig at a friend, or to scream while you’re flipping off that idiot who cut you off.
Other derogatory terms
Derro
Like so much of Aussie lingo, derro is an abbreviation, this time for the word "derelict". Very highbrow, in terms of insults. Though it’s traditionally used to refer to bums or hobos, derro is also used to refer to someone who just can’t get their s*** together. And you know so many of those “types".
Fanny
Leave your fanny pack at home when you visit Australia, or at least don’t refer to it as one without expecting giggles. The waist purse is called a bum bag in Oz, and that’s because fanny is another word for a woman’s reproductive organs.
Drongo
This old-fashioned term may be less prevalent, but commonly refers to a dumb person, fool, or loser. The term was first coined for the 1920s Australian racehorse Drongo, who never won a race in his two-and-a-half year career. Poor guy.
Bogan
You’re most likely to hear this pretty regularly in Oz or New Zealand, and the term is used liberally to refer to someone who is unsophisticated, unintelligent, or a bit “rough around the edges" -- the Down Under equivalent of a redneck.
Root
The crass word is code for sex, which is why Aussies deride Americans for “rooting” for their favorite team. “Cop a root” is a common phrase for having sex. Based on that, “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” ends up sounding a lot like a track off a 2 Live Crew album.
Slag/slagger
A promiscuous man or woman. Hey, both men and women can be easy.
Wristy
The act of giving manual sex. Because your wrist is attached to your hand. You get the idea.