The Top 13 Signs You Drank Too Much This Weekend
13) You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping -- with your
Oldsmobile.
12) Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
11) Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.
10) For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.
9) Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's
pancakes.
8) For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the *car*.
7) You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast
shakes made with Jim Beam.
6) Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer.
5) Absolut wants to run an add featuring a picture of your liver in the
shape of a bottle.
4) The doorman asks for you I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to
find your pants.
3) Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal cavity into a pan of frying onions.
2) Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the
goat.
and the Number 1 Sign You Drank Too Much This Weekend...
1) You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan and
not a personal challenge.
[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com ]
[ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]
13) You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping -- with your
Oldsmobile.
12) Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
11) Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.
10) For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.
9) Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's
pancakes.
8) For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the *car*.
7) You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast
shakes made with Jim Beam.
6) Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer.
5) Absolut wants to run an add featuring a picture of your liver in the
shape of a bottle.
4) The doorman asks for you I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to
find your pants.
3) Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal cavity into a pan of frying onions.
2) Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the
goat.
and the Number 1 Sign You Drank Too Much This Weekend...
1) You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan and
not a personal challenge.
[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com ]
[ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]
I espcecially liked the last one - err, I mean the #1 reason: the Canada Dry 
