The Top 15 Signs You Bought a Bad SUV
15> Sure, it has four-wheel drive -- but only one wheel at a time.
14> Gas mileage is so bad you've hired a military refueling plane
to taxi behind you.
13> Close inspection reveals it to be four Yugos duct-taped
together.
12> Unbeknownst to you, the rear window taillight displays your
*actual* penis length.
11> Cheap piece of junk! The HondaPlow fell off the front after
battering just a few Civics out of your way in the supermarket
parking lot.
10> Fourteen cup holders, zero seats.
9> Proving the test drive was no fluke, you get pinned under it
again during the drive home.
8> The free monkey the dealer tossed in to "sweeten the deal"
has a wet, hacking cough.
7> Friends keep referring to it as your "Lincoln Masturbator."
6> Previous owner had three daughters, and your repeated cleanings fail to get the boy-band stench out of the radio.
5> Your every attempt to back out of your driveway ends in
Jerry-Bruckheimer-film fiery mayhem.
4> The ozone hole following your vehicle around is a disappointing 500 yards wide.
3> Dealer replaces unsafe Firestone tires with "organic" Flintstone tires.
2> Hit the turn signal too hard and it rolls over faster than an Enrique Iglesias groupie.
and the Number 1 Sign You Bought a Bad SUV...
1> Al Cowlings included as standard equipment.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ]
15> Sure, it has four-wheel drive -- but only one wheel at a time.
14> Gas mileage is so bad you've hired a military refueling plane
to taxi behind you.
13> Close inspection reveals it to be four Yugos duct-taped
together.
12> Unbeknownst to you, the rear window taillight displays your
*actual* penis length.
11> Cheap piece of junk! The HondaPlow fell off the front after
battering just a few Civics out of your way in the supermarket
parking lot.
10> Fourteen cup holders, zero seats.
9> Proving the test drive was no fluke, you get pinned under it
again during the drive home.
8> The free monkey the dealer tossed in to "sweeten the deal"
has a wet, hacking cough.
7> Friends keep referring to it as your "Lincoln Masturbator."
6> Previous owner had three daughters, and your repeated cleanings fail to get the boy-band stench out of the radio.
5> Your every attempt to back out of your driveway ends in
Jerry-Bruckheimer-film fiery mayhem.
4> The ozone hole following your vehicle around is a disappointing 500 yards wide.
3> Dealer replaces unsafe Firestone tires with "organic" Flintstone tires.
2> Hit the turn signal too hard and it rolls over faster than an Enrique Iglesias groupie.
and the Number 1 Sign You Bought a Bad SUV...
1> Al Cowlings included as standard equipment.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ]