Yammy
Inactive
Some of these are old but MAN, can I see saying these at my karaoke shows!
New twist, imagine running a karaoke show for one night and how these would apply with drunken stupid ppl who can't sing.....
Things You'd Love to Say at Work, but Can't
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. ( 0r b00ze)
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. ( Oh that's right you choose to be mentally disabled!)
3. How about never? Is never good for you? (after incessant whing, am I up yet?)
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. ( only for the really BAD singers)
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. (no, I don't chech ID's and it's a priviledge not a right to get up here and sing.)
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. (drunken slurring is a language all it's own)
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... ( I MUST Remember that next time a slip comes in with the wrong numbers/ song name !!!)
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave? {Oh PLS???? or maybe some visine in your dirnk?}
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. {apply to teens dressed like Britney spears and weigh about 200 lbs}
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done. {Ah, yes, it's closing time}
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun? {sorry that cd just doesn't work I am sorry I can't play Summer Nights for the UMPTeen time }
38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.\
Not really whining but it's a totally different set of people then most deal with and it's really pretty funny most of the time.
New twist, imagine running a karaoke show for one night and how these would apply with drunken stupid ppl who can't sing.....
Things You'd Love to Say at Work, but Can't
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. ( 0r b00ze)
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. ( Oh that's right you choose to be mentally disabled!)
3. How about never? Is never good for you? (after incessant whing, am I up yet?)
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. ( only for the really BAD singers)
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. (no, I don't chech ID's and it's a priviledge not a right to get up here and sing.)
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. (drunken slurring is a language all it's own)
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... ( I MUST Remember that next time a slip comes in with the wrong numbers/ song name !!!)
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave? {Oh PLS???? or maybe some visine in your dirnk?}
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. {apply to teens dressed like Britney spears and weigh about 200 lbs}
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done. {Ah, yes, it's closing time}
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun? {sorry that cd just doesn't work I am sorry I can't play Summer Nights for the UMPTeen time }
38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.\
Not really whining but it's a totally different set of people then most deal with and it's really pretty funny most of the time.
