NWPhotog
Veteran Member
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We really don't care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken
is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or against us. There's no middle
ground here.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
the road, I'm now against it!
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you
define chicken please?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented
the application of these two different functions of
government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original
side of the road had been polluted by unchecked
industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road
because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
COLIN POWELL: To the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken
crossing the road.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent,
hardworking American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed
the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government
grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
there is already forming a support group to help
chickens with crossing-the- road syndrome. Can you
believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking
about your money, money the government took from you
to build roads for chickens to cross.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTHA STEWART: If the chicken crossed the road on my
property, I'd be fully justified in blocking its exit
until the local authorities could arrive to arrest it
for trespassing. I'm a private person and shouldn't
have to be subjected to the "innocent mistakes" of
common chickens.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from Heaven, and he said
unto the chicken: "Thou shalt cross the road." And
the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it
obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in
front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what "they" call it -- the "other
side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if
you eat that chicken, you'll become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the
road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having
their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken
crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for
the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
overcame a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads
in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.
KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50
tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did,
but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2004, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your checkbook -
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did
the road move beneath the chicken?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The "road," you will see, represents
the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in
order to trample him and keep him down.
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We really don't care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken
is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or against us. There's no middle
ground here.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
the road, I'm now against it!
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you
define chicken please?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented
the application of these two different functions of
government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original
side of the road had been polluted by unchecked
industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road
because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
COLIN POWELL: To the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken
crossing the road.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent,
hardworking American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed
the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government
grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
there is already forming a support group to help
chickens with crossing-the- road syndrome. Can you
believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking
about your money, money the government took from you
to build roads for chickens to cross.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTHA STEWART: If the chicken crossed the road on my
property, I'd be fully justified in blocking its exit
until the local authorities could arrive to arrest it
for trespassing. I'm a private person and shouldn't
have to be subjected to the "innocent mistakes" of
common chickens.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from Heaven, and he said
unto the chicken: "Thou shalt cross the road." And
the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it
obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in
front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what "they" call it -- the "other
side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if
you eat that chicken, you'll become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the
road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having
their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken
crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for
the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
overcame a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads
in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.
KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50
tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did,
but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2004, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your checkbook -
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did
the road move beneath the chicken?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The "road," you will see, represents
the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in
order to trample him and keep him down.
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
