Phishing Scam? Scammer? Or Innocent Victim?

[DFENZ]

Kind of a long story, but bear with me here:

All online dating sites are notorious for scams, but I decided to dive in anyway about a month ago. I signed up at a popular one for 50+ year-old singles- with some moderate success, thank you ; ) Most of my 'matches' are too far away and it seems that about half of the profiles are fake, many of them seem like they may be generated by the site to keep my interest. Others seem geared toward just general scamming. I think I have figured out the more obvious fakes but this one has me scratching my head:

This particular woman's profile checks all the boxes for me and seems like a stunningly beautiful, very well put together, professional woman in her 50s. She's only got 1 profile photo (which is kind of a red flag) but the photo seems maybe a little too professional, a torso shot like maybe it's a promo photo, with her wearing a business suit. Of course, I had to 'jiggle her chain' but I got no response. This is not so unusual, but I figured she would at least visit my profile. She did not (I would have gotten a notification if she did). After a couple of days of silence, and on a hunch, I ran an image search on her profile photo. It ended up being exactly what I thought- a promo photo from a website- her website. It seems she runs an insurance advisory firm as a sole proprietor. Her business website is very professional and seems totally legit. And all of her contact information, including her phone number is listed on that business website.

This raises all kinds of questions for me.
1) Why would anyone, particularly a savvy businesswoman, post a photo to a somewhat sketchy, but secure/anonymous dating site that could be traced back to her and her business with all of her contact information?
2) Is 'she' a scammer, hoping someone like me will run the photo search, luring them to 'her' website to get my contact information?
3) Is someone pursuing some kind of a vendetta against her by posting her photo on a dating website for whatever reason? Maybe a jilted lover?

Both her dating site profile and her business website make her seem like she's on the up and up. I kind of suspect option #3 which would open her up to all sorts of mischief from all sorts of scammers. I've thought about it for a couple of days thinking that I should alert her on her business website, that her contact information and photo are out there for all to see on a dating site. I just don't know how to do it without 'her' getting my contact information if in fact 'she' is a #2 (pun intended). She does seem like such a kind and honest soul.

Should I just mind my own business and ignore it? What do you think?

 

[summerthyme]

No clue, but my first hunch is that someone is using her pic without permission... IOW, scammer, but it may not be "her"...

Summerthyme

 

[Meemur]

Yep. I'll bet someone is using her photo without her knowledge.

I know you might want to be a nice guy, but I strongly suggest two things:

1) Let this go. Do not contact her, and
2) Do not try to meet people online!

Instead, look around your community or communities close by for activities that **you** want to do.
Don't go with the idea of "meeting someone." Just go to activities you like.

Eventually, you'll widen your network of people, and maybe you'll meet someone special! In any case,
you're a lot less likely to get scammed, especially if you're dating "friends of friends" and everyone has
known each other 10+ years.

I could go on, but please -- quit looking for dates on the net. It's a huge waste of time and money.

 

[Heliobas Disciple]

I would let her know. Wouldn't you want to know if someone was doing that to you?

Do you have a landline? If you do, dial *67 before you make the call. (I dont' know if this works for cellphones but probably easy enough to test if you have someone you can call testing it out). *67 before calling blocks your caller ID information from showing up on the recipient's caller ID. If you are worried she's using the dating site to phish for clients she won't get your information. If she answers, let her know her picture is being used and take it from there. If she doesn't answer, leave a message. If that picture is still there in a few days she must've posted it herself. If it's gone, you did her a tremendous favor. Another way to contact her is if she has a 'contact' button on her webpage. Leave her an anonymous message with a link to the what you think is the fake profile.

HD

 

[Persimmon]

If you ever watch MTV’s Catfish this is what happens about 90% of the time. Most of the people being catfished never do the image search like you did until the show does it and shows them the photo was stolen and doesn’t belong to the actual person they’re communicating with. Usually the people they really belong to have no idea their images are being used.

 

[DFENZ]

I would let her know. Wouldn't you want to know if someone was doing that to you?

Do you have a landline? If you do, dial *67 before you make the call. (I dont' know if this works for cellphones but probably easy enough to test if you have someone you can call testing it out). *67 before calling blocks your caller ID information from showing up on the recipient's caller ID. If you are worried she's using the dating site to phish for clients she won't get your information. If she answers, let her know her picture is being used and take it from there. If she doesn't answer, leave a message. If that picture is still there in a few days she must've posted it herself. If it's gone, you did her a tremendous favor. Another way to contact her is if she has a 'contact' button on her webpage. Leave her an anonymous message with a link to the what you think is the fake profile.

HD

Thank you for confirming my suspicion. I feel so horrible for her if the situation is like we suspect. I'm not going to cut and paste any info or photos here, but it really seems like she is being duped- big time. She really does seem like an innocent soul. I think I will eventually figure out a way to tactfully and confidentially contact her with the information for her to use however she wishes. Even if I have to somehow get her mailing address and send her an anonymous note in the mail. If it were me in that situation, I would definitely appreciate knowing and then be able to act accordingly.

Leave her an anonymous message with a link to the what you think is the fake profile.

I don't think I can leave her a link; the dating site is members only and I think she would have to have a membership in order to access the content.

 

[DFENZ]

Yep. I'll bet someone is using her photo without her knowledge.

I know you might want to be a nice guy, but I strongly suggest two things:

1) Let this go. Do not contact her, and
2) Do not try to meet people online!

Instead, look around your community or communities close by for activities that **you** want to do.
Don't go with the idea of "meeting someone." Just go to activities you like.

Eventually, you'll widen your network of people, and maybe you'll meet someone special! In any case,
you're a lot less likely to get scammed, especially if you're dating "friends of friends" and everyone has
known each other 10+ years.

I could go on, but please -- quit looking for dates on the net. It's a huge waste of time and money.

Points taken. I just can't justify not trying to help an innocent person- assuming she is innocent. Doing nothing would make me an accessory to the scam in my mind and I have to live with myself. I can't stress this enough- And I feel very strongly about that.

As to the online dating- My daughter who has been enormously successful with online dating finally talked me into it, even though I was protesting, kicking and screaming the whole way (seriously, there are few people who value their privacy and dignity more than I do). But as it turned out, it's been exactly what I need at this point in my life, fresh after a divorce. And, surprise, surprise; so far, it's been a lot less of a time and money suck than the real world. And I'm having the time of my life! Sure, some are duds, but some are more fun than a basket of puppies...

 

[bluelady]

Could you anonymously contact the police department in her city?

 

[Heliobas Disciple]

I don't think I can leave her a link; the dating site is members only and I think she would have to have a membership in order to access the content.

Can you screengrab the page so she can see the image of it and forward a link to the main site? She could join to see 'her'/fake profile if she didn't post it and to contact their admins to remove the page.

Also, does her 'real' webpage have a street address? Maybe you can print the screengrab and mail it to her anonymously. Be sure not to t sound creepy or she'll think YOU are the stalker!

ps - glad you are benefiting from the site. There is nothing wrong with a legitimate on line dating site, a lot of people meet that way and end up together (two nieces met their spouses that way).

HD

 

[DFENZ]

Could you anonymously contact the police department in her city?

Yes of course, but I have no intention of doing so. She can do that herself if she sees the need. I can't imagine that the police would, or even could do anything about it anyway. They have lots bigger fish to fry than to chase down a suspected internet scam.

There is nothing wrong with a legitimate on line dating site...

That made me chuckle a little bit. There may be a legitimate online dating site out there, I don't even know. It's the members' content that is always, always suspect.

 

[WalknTrot]

If you want to get involved, contact the site-owner or whoever is in charge of fraud on those places. They must have a person who deals with it (just to cover their own asses) - those sites are literally dripping with fraud. You can give THEM your evidence, and let THEM contact her.

Then, just walk away.

 

[accountant]

Hi Dfenz,

I don't want to sound like a wet blanket, but maybe there are a couple/three innocent explanations to all of this.

1. Maybe she tried the dating site, and since it doesn't provide her the success she was looking for, she stopped checking her notifications and went dormant. It happens, people get frustrated.

2. Maybe she already found her special someone and just forgot to delete her account on the dating site.

3. Maybe she's just not into you and that may be the reason she hasn't responded to you "jiggling her chain".

Some people are generally private and would rather put a professional picture that is already on the net than put up a personal profile pic.

Just my thoughts. What do I know?

A.

 

[Griz3752]

I have a well-established hatred for scammers & abusers. You've got her "legit" contact info so I'd favour letting her know where you found her dating persona info.

If you don't want to do that via email or text, print the page and fax it to her or stuff it under her office door; lots of ways to share w/o exposing yourself.

 

[DFENZ]

I have a well-established hatred for scammers & abusers. You've got her "legit" contact info so I'd favour letting her know where you found her dating persona info.

If you don't want to do that via email or text, print the page and fax it to her or stuff it under her office door; lots of ways to share w/o exposing yourself.

Trying my best to not sound like a creep, I have already sent her an anonymous note in the mail, just matter-of-factly informing her of her presence on the dating site. Of course, getting something like that in the mail is creepy on its face- and maybe it should be. She can do with the information whatever she wants.

At least I feel better knowing that I did what I could.

 

[Bad Hand]

I my wife Edith on the Net, she died 6 years ago. Then Iet Theresa no the net but the jab killed her. I have had good luck as far aseeting women on the Net the problem is they keep dieing.