CORP/BIZ Thing’s getting rough everywhere

[Griz3752]

At first I wanted to be buried at the local cemetery but I see that the elk jump the fence and crap on all the graves.

I'm sure if you GPS your final location, many here will be willing to keep those un-house trained elk off your grass.

It's the least we can do.

 

[BUBBAHOTEPT]

If you get cremated you can always go the fireworks route. Heard that it started when a person wanted their ashes spread on their favorite lake it was verboten by the powers that be for ecological reasons. A nephew who worked for a fireworks company knew that you have to have so much filler between stages of fireworks made several with the ashes. They wanted till every one could come back for a family gathering. Had a private fireworks show and the ashes were all scattered over the lake with out anyone’s knowledge and a new industry was born. There are many listings on google.

Now I like that!
I learned a long time ago while looking at other monuments in a graveyard, some from very wealthy people over a hundred years ago, that eventually there will be no one left to visit your crumbling gated site. Better to go out with a spectacle for the young ones and anyone who remains.
In time, we are all forgotten, but we were just visitors here anyway……

Best toast: May you live long enough that your great grandchildren laugh and giggle at your funeral!
If you are lucky enough to have ever seen this, then you’ll understand it is a blessing....

View: https://youtu.be/vep_GXuTWJQ?si=1TvETBONr4fqvdM1

 

[packyderms_wife]

Just went by the local cemetery and they have banners out for a sale. Buy 1 lot get 1 free with 12 months to pay 0 interest. I don’t think this is a good sign on the economy. Fewer people can afford a full funeral and are going to cremation as a more cost affective solution. So no need for a cemetery plot.

And cremation has become expensive, it's around $3k starting price in my area.

 

[Sammy55]

My DH and I are in the process of doing/making final arrangements. We were given a somewhat quote for prepaying or getting a policy for a funeral with casket and simple church service, no cremation. Price would be approximately $15,000 to $20,000. Highway robbery. Don't know what we are going to decide. This is ridiculous!

 

[Blacknarwhal]

The kindest gift my parents left to us was their FULLY PAID FOR Funeral expenses! We just had to make a phone call and provide the viewing clothes.

It was one of the few things that I ever told my mom and dad to do. Spend your money, I said. Every nickel; God knows you've earned it. But just two things: one, maybe spare a thought for your cremations and such. Tough enough to lose you, it's insult to injury to have to PAY for it. Two, no reverse mortgages. A paid-off house and land is all the legacy anyone really needs.

 

[ainitfunny]

Same here.

And to the point of no one cares after you're gone........

That may be regional.

Here in my corner of MS, we have what we call memorial day for several cemeteries on consecutive Sundays in July and August, think there is one in Sept. Lots and lots of people bring wreaths, to put on graves, and go by the tents and give a donation for the upkeep of the cemetery, like fences, mowing, etc. All the money goes into a trust.

All of my family going back to the mid 1800's are buried in two of them. Granted we can't afford to put flowers on all the grandparents, but a visit, and respect is certainly due. All we do is my mom and dad. Flowers are high dollar.

SB has family going back nearly that far, in two other cemeteries. But only one has memorial day. Still only on parents graves. And visit others.

2nd to that, one of the things in life that everyone will experience is death, not having an insurance policy in some fashion, to cover that is just not right. IMHO Whether that's cremation or burial.

Me and SB both want to be among our families. Marring me, she will join me in my families cemetery. Already have the plots and paid for. What ever you plan for when you die, you really need to get it settled and paid for now. It will be your last respondsibility.

IMO- Flower bouquets, NOT "arrangements" are CHEAP at Fred Meyers or other grocery stores, once a year, put 'em on all the grand parents graves. The cemetary provides holders for the bouquets.

 

[MountainBiker]

If you read how bodies are embalmed and otherwise prepared for open casket viewings, you would switch to cremation. We plan on being cremated but bought a regular 7' x 10' plot so as to be able to have a large headstone (which we have already had placed). The cremation plots in the cemetery we're going in are too small for regular sized tombstones and I don't like the small ones I see there.

I volunteer in my town's cemeteries cleaning & repairing stones and uprighting or re-erecting stones that are leaning or that have fallen (frost & freeze/thaw cycles over the centuries move tombstones in the frigid north). It seems to me that it only takes maybe two generations before most of the dead are forgotten and nobody from the family visits or maintains the tombstones anymore, though sometimes well meaning family members do more harm than good when they don't understand how to clean, upright, or repair stones without causing more damage.

I also painstakingly transcribe epitaphs for the historic society on old stones for which time & weather are making them unreadable. These epitaphs meant something to the family at the time and thus are worth preserving.

It may sound silly but doing this cemetery work is very rewarding in the sense that it feels like we are respecting the memory of those long gone and long forgotten. If something about a particular stone catches my interest I will research the individual or family and do a writeup on them for the historic society, thus making that person's or family's story available for anyone that might be researching them, or if nothing else documenting a piece of the town's history.

 

[colonel holman]

If you read how bodies are embalmed and otherwise prepared for open casket viewings, you would switch to cremation. We plan on being cremated but bought a regular 7' x 10' plot so as to be able to have a large headstone (which we have already had placed). The cremation plots in the cemetery we're going in are too small for regular sized tombstones and I don't like the small ones I see there.

I volunteer in my town's cemeteries cleaning & repairing stones and uprighting or re-erecting stones that are leaning or that have fallen (frost & freeze/thaw cycles over the centuries move tombstones in the frigid north). It seems to me that it only takes maybe two generations before most of the dead are forgotten and nobody from the family visits or maintains the tombstones anymore, though sometimes well meaning family members do more harm than good when they don't understand how to clean, upright, or repair stones without causing more damage.

I also painstakingly transcribe epitaphs for the historic society on old stones for which time & weather are making them unreadable. These epitaphs meant something to the family at the time and thus are worth preserving.

It may sound silly but doing this cemetery work is very rewarding in the sense that it feels like we are respecting the memory of those long gone and long forgotten. If something about a particular stone catches my interest I will research the individual or family and do a writeup on them for the historic society, thus making that person's or family's story available for anyone that might be researching them, or if nothing else documenting a piece of the town's history.

We cannot drive past any cemetery where we spot old slate stones. Gotta stop and read them. We plan to use old slate design for ourselves

 

[MountainBiker]

We cannot drive past any cemetery where we spot old slate stones. Gotta stop and read them. We plan to use old slate design for ourselves

We have slate stones from the 1700's that are in pristine condition, and others that have flaked away. Make sure you pick slate that is a very solid piece w/o any obvious layering or veins along the edges where the freeze/thaw cycle can begin to work its way in and pull it apart.

The thing to avoid is marble. Lots of marble stones here on account of all the marble quarries. They are absolutely beautiful when sparkling white, but marble is inherently soft and in a century or two, or even sooner in some cases, the pitting starts becoming obvious and in a worst case scenario the stone starts flaking apart. Not many people do marble stones anymore, but in the 1800's they were very popular.

Granite is the most durable stone to use, but around here at least there is a nasty lichen that seems to like granite stones and is very difficult to clean off. It doesn't harm the stone, but getting it off isn't easy.

 

[CaryC]

IMO- Flower bouquets, NOT "arrangements" are CHEAP at Fred Meyers or other grocery stores, once a year, put 'em on all the grand parents graves. The cemetary provides holders for the bouquets.

Would love to do that, but.....

Even with low cost arrangements (no Fred Meyers here) do you realize that the further back you go in time/history the more grandparents you have. I would be putting arrangements on nearly half of the old part of the cemetery. And the first one here while we do know where they are buried, they don't have a headstone, due to either made from sand stone, or wood, and it is gone. But figure they are close to their daughter and SIL in the old cemetery, where someone, put a new modern headstone. They arrived in 1841. 17 more years and that will be 200 years ago. Except for those, I know and can go up to every single grandparent in the two cemeteries they are buried in. Not to mention Uncles and Aunts. And it's not that we are a big family, but rather we've been here for so long. And we live near all the old homesteads, and birth places. Can walk up to each and everyone.

And 2nd you must be talking about a commercial cemetery, cuz out here in the sticks the cemetery doesn't provide anything except upkeep, which is paid for by donations.

There is an old cemetery not far from us that has dates back to the late 1700's, but I don't have any kin there. And it is so far back it is not in use any longer.

Like I said would love to do that, but cost is out of the question.

 

[John Wall]

I am donating my remains to Vanderbilt Hospital. I won't have any use for the cadaver, they will. No charge.

 

[jed turtle]

You bet I know, just went through it. They wanted $2,895 for Cremation, death certs, notices. For a full blown funeral, 1 day visitation, etc would have been $10,775.

That gives you an idea of today's prepaid costs.
And it's wonderful you still have 1 left. Mine just passed last month.

Being a land surveyor, all I had to do was set survey pins at the corner of the 1/4 acre plot, make a survey plan and write a deed description of the burial lot, and the right of way pathway from the discontinued town road (that I live on) down to the burial plot in the back field, so that family members can access said burial lot and then put up some kind of fence), and then record the plan and deed description at either the County registry of Deeds and the Town Office. Since I used a portion of the old stone wall for one side of the lot, all I had to do was pound in some galvanized pipes at the four corners and along the other sides and tie some colored polypropylene rope from pipe to pipe so that anyone would be aware of the location of the plot.

A wood-worker friend offered to build the casket for the price of the wood required ($250) and he did a fine job! The wake the next day was in my living room and dining room and wave after wave of friends from church came to pay respects, offer condolences, and enjoy the peace of a ”family gathering” on that sunny day in July The church provided the sanctuary for the memorial service, a week later, and the same woodworker friend gave the sermon and friends and family went up front to say/share their thoughts and feelings, and the church also contributed a meal after for any that wanted to stay after the service. We were blessed in so many ways I can’t begin to list all the ways. And I should at least mention that friends and family also sent checks and delivered money in so many surprising ways that all her final medical bills were paid off, all without me asking or even thinking of asking.

I do not know how it all happened. I was of course exhausted beyond my limit being her main caregiver those last few months, and was in a zombie-like mental state coping with so many things and issues all at once. God was faithful to carry us through and provided all that was needed! Depend on our Heavenly Father for all that is needed when you cannot possibly see a way forward! Whether living or dying, I will praise Him with all that is within me.

 

[summerthyme]

Would love to do that, but.....

Even with low cost arrangements (no Fred Meyers here) do you realize that the further back you go in time/history the more grandparents you have. I would be putting arrangements on nearly half of the old part of the cemetery. And the first one here while we do know where they are buried, they don't have a headstone, due to either made from sand stone, or wood, and it is gone. But figure they are close to their daughter and SIL in the old cemetery, where someone, put a new modern headstone. They arrived in 1841. 17 more years and that will be 200 years ago. Except for those, I know and can go up to every single grandparent in the two cemeteries they are buried in. Not to mention Uncles and Aunts. And it's not that we are a big family, but rather we've been here for so long. And we live near all the old homesteads, and birth places. Can walk up to each and everyone.

And 2nd you must be talking about a commercial cemetery, cuz out here in the sticks the cemetery doesn't provide anything except upkeep, which is paid for by donations.

There is an old cemetery not far from us that has dates back to the late 1700's, but I don't have any kin there. And it is so far back it is not in use any longer.

Like I said would love to do that, but cost is out of the question.

A single flower, or a bunch of homegrown rosemary, for remembrance, might be doable. It's the thought, not the size of the display, that's important.

Summerthyme